When will things get better?

How many times have I asked this question or heard others ask it?  Can't count them all.  We tend to think that we are living in the most interesting of times, that our problems are unique.  Not so. Are our problems greater than those of pre-war America, are our decisions more daunting than those which had to be made about what to do in Europe?  How about the 1500's in England when no one could keep up with whether their country was Catholic or Protestant this week, and supporting either would not just bring ridicule, but could cost you your head?  At any time in history the record is laced with turmoil, threats from the powerful, fear, disease, all of the same things that plague this planet now.  Want to talk about deforestation?  I grew up in a place in this country that was "clear cut" by a Chicago timber company around the beginning of the 20th Century, where not much of anything was left standing.  Truly, nothing is new under the sun.

Even my own present situation is not unique.  There are so many people in the same situation I am in right now.  Many more will experience it.  The key is to not allow fear to win the day, to not allow myself to make decisions I will soon and definitely regret.  I have been there before too, because I chose out of panic or sentiment, not relying on what the Holy Spirit was insisting I hear, but relying on my own judgement as a broken man.

There has been cause to reach out to God time and time again.  As the psalmist wrote:
       
            Deliver me, my God, from the hand of the wicked, 
                  from the clutches of the oppressor.
            In you, O lord, I have taken refuge.
            You have showed me great troubles and adversities, 
                 but you will restore my life and bring me        
                 up again from the deep places of the earth.
            I shall always wait in patience and shall praise you more and more.

Comforting words, indeed.  But these words, written centuries ago, are also great reminders that there are always things to overcome.  God doesn't fix, he gives me the ability to do the job.  The trick is that I have to listen, trust and surrender all that I hold onto with my fearful self.  I must take refuge, and I will be brought up.  Trusting in the power of God never fails, as long as I understand what I am trusting in.

Forgive, even when it seems ridiculous.

I recently lost my job.  In losing it, I also lost a lot more.  The feeling of security that comes from knowing that there will be another paycheck in two weeks.  The various types of insurance, the contribution to the 401k plan, and the time I put into the system toward retirement- I lost that too, as I was only two weeks away from being fully vested.  I lost it all.  And the most remarkable thing is that I still don't know why exactly.  I know what they said, but I don't understand it.  I broke no laws, no rules, nothing was taken, no one was injured, I hurt no one, etc, etc.- they didn't think I fit there, and I was shown the parking lot.

If anyone ever had a reason to be mad, hurt, humiliated and down right vengeful, I would think it would be me.  What have I ever done to anyone, I ask God, I've tried to be a light to everyone I meet, I've tried to do my job, I've never been a problem to others, so why was this done to me?  I could smolder into a state of hatred for those who made this decision, seeing them as elitist, false judges of character.  I could do all of that and worse, and feel justified in all of it.  At times I have been on the verge, call the lawyers! my inner man shouts.

Then, this morning God speaks directly to me again and reminds me that I must get back on the path. This is life, he says through the pen of St. Paul, these things will happen because you are alive.  You will be humiliated. You will be hurt.  You will be judged falsely and you will feel like you have suffered for no reason other than you exist.  But, you have a new life in Jesus and you know what that means.

Time and time again I am reassured that because of faith, there is hope.  Time and time again I am reminded not to worry about the things of this life, but focus on the life that comes from God.  Now, I am not of the mind that God will call up Marietta Electric and take care of the electric bill this month, but know it will be taken care of.  I know that with faith and with the attitude that comes from trusting in God in my life that I will be able to make it happen. But only if I let all of that dark matter go.  That only slows me down.  I know that those people have their own issues to deal with and that has nothing to do with me.  I must forgive them, even though it seems ridiculous to do so. Not doing so only prevents me from living my life and that is what Jesus wants me to do.  He said as much.

So, thank you Holy Angels for prompting me to open today's meditation from Oswald Chambers, and thank you for piquing my curiosity to read Colossians chapter 3 once again and thank you God for speaking to me.  We will move forward, and I will return to the path.