A column appeared this week in the New York Times by Nicholas Kristof on the subject of religious oppression of women. Of course, a topic such as this is always a sure fire way to get a good argument going, and judging from the comments on the article at the Times website, a great forum for the people who love to get their hate on for religion to bring out their sledgehammers. There is apparently, a lot of anger and resentment toward organized religion out there, a lot of it likely justified. But there is also a lot of misconception, in my humble opinion.
Leaving the specific issue of the oppression of women to another day, the most common theme of the commenter's was that religion is nothing more than control of the individual through behaviour modification, most notably, the double barreled guilt of sin and threat of damnation (of the eternal type). I grew up in such a culture, so I have empathy for those who's experiences (or who's information about religion comes from people who had such experiences) put them in this place. There is no denial that such ideologies are out there, in every religious format. But this is not what religion in general and Christianity in particular are about and were never meant to be about. In my opinion, of course.
Now, before anyone starts feeling the need to run to their Bibles and proof text me into oblivion, I'll say from the beginning that I don't care what you quote or how well you argue your point that religion is most certainly about damnation for those who choose to ignore the rules. Such are hopeless arguments leading to hopelessness for all mankind, unless of course, one removes hypocrisy from the definition of sin. When will people learn that the easiest thing in the world is to find a line of scripture that will put almost anyone, anywhere on a rocket sled to hell? That is not religion, that is ego based self justification.
I can speak about Christianity because I am a Christian. It is my Christian belief that my religion is not about control, but about freedom. This freedom comes from God and the offer of grace to each of us, individually, and that Grace gives each person the knowledge that life is a remarkable gift, a thing to be savored and relished.
Freedom also comes in the knowing that to have this life, one must surrender one's life to the will of God. The conscious self must give way to the inner, spiritual self, thus opening itself to the love of God, it is then that the wonder of the world opens to all who will see, all who will hear. So simple, yet so difficult.
I know, the idea of surrendering to the will of anything is antithetical to human nature. It's actually frightening. But, I have found, that living outside the will of God is no life at all, just a foggy illusion of one. Even worse, surrendering to the will of social circumstances, substance abuse, materialism- to the point where these things actually do control one's life, this is better?
Of course, if one chooses not to surrender, to not find the inner self, then other things will naturally get in the way of that spiritual bliss. Things separate one from the love of God- not dry it up, or make it go away-it is always there- but separate one from it, the way a curtain separates a room. As St. Augustine and Miester Eckhart taught, if there is anything other than the love of God in one's heart, then one is not loving God, and there is room for failure.
"Things" are not just material in nature. Things are also thoughts, behaviors, fears. If one lives with fear in one's heart, then one is not loving God with all one's heart. There is room for fear to take over. There is less room for compassion. This is where things like oppression of women, bigotry, dissipation and violence come into play. There are religious people, who, in spite of their efforts, still live in a state of fear. I say, if someone is afraid of a person enough to look that person in the face and say "God does not love you, you have no place here", then that person is not loving God. That person is trying to be God. That is not religion, that is heresy.
As mere humans we can not know where God will go and not go, who God will love or not love. Whom God will accept or reject. Jesus taught many lessons about the futility of such presumption. But somehow we haven't caught on yet and people still judge based on fear, when we are all called to love.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Compassion
There is a new look at the concept of compassion being undertaken on a worldwide scale, put into motion in part by author Karen Armstrong. It is compelling, to say the least, that such a project be undertaken with the aid of the www, and I wonder, will it actually take off? As of today's date, just over 15,000 people have signed on to affirm the Charter for Compassion since its release on November 12, 2009.
Compassion in itself is a good thing. The very idea of putting oneself in the shoes of another, considering feelings outside of one's own ego centered existence, is one of, if not the, core teachings of the Christian Gospel.
This teaching has been all but lost in the post modern world where individuality has been celebrated to the point of self worship in the religion of consumerism.
(As a consumer myself, I hate to admit it, but it is unavoidable, to a point).
Individualism is not inherently bad, but it does tend to take one away from the other. The other being defined as the billions of souls making up the rest of the world's population. We all have no choice but to exist together on this tiny rock of a planet. There have been precious few periods in history where that was actually accomplished in a peaceful way. Rather than accept, share and rejoice in the miracle of living, people have chosen just the opposite.
Individualism in religion easily lends itself to ego based religiosity, where God becomes an extension of the individual's idealism concerning justice and morality. It is easy to isolate, become xenophobic and literally hate those outside the comfort zone of ego based religion, which has to contributed more to conflict in the world than it has towards peace.
My question, is the goal of the Charter for Compassion too much to ask? Has humanity evolved to the point where individuals can understand it's concept? Could this be the beginning of a movement that could accomplish what spears, swords, bullets and missiles have been unable to? Is there enough compassion in the world to overshadow the fear that is so easily kindled in the hearts of people? I certainly hope so. I am planning to participate, what have we to lose?
Compassion in itself is a good thing. The very idea of putting oneself in the shoes of another, considering feelings outside of one's own ego centered existence, is one of, if not the, core teachings of the Christian Gospel.
This teaching has been all but lost in the post modern world where individuality has been celebrated to the point of self worship in the religion of consumerism.
(As a consumer myself, I hate to admit it, but it is unavoidable, to a point).
Individualism is not inherently bad, but it does tend to take one away from the other. The other being defined as the billions of souls making up the rest of the world's population. We all have no choice but to exist together on this tiny rock of a planet. There have been precious few periods in history where that was actually accomplished in a peaceful way. Rather than accept, share and rejoice in the miracle of living, people have chosen just the opposite.
Individualism in religion easily lends itself to ego based religiosity, where God becomes an extension of the individual's idealism concerning justice and morality. It is easy to isolate, become xenophobic and literally hate those outside the comfort zone of ego based religion, which has to contributed more to conflict in the world than it has towards peace.
My question, is the goal of the Charter for Compassion too much to ask? Has humanity evolved to the point where individuals can understand it's concept? Could this be the beginning of a movement that could accomplish what spears, swords, bullets and missiles have been unable to? Is there enough compassion in the world to overshadow the fear that is so easily kindled in the hearts of people? I certainly hope so. I am planning to participate, what have we to lose?
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
The real nitty gritty
So much is being said these days about division, things that cause or lead to the separation of groups of people. In religion, politics, it doesn't matter, schism is the word. It appears that centuries of Utopian philosophy, wars to end all wars, even ecumenical movements and indoctrination have not been able to change this phenomenon which grips human beings so tightly that one group can just think of another and feel the burn of hatred. When one's first thought regarding another is rage, indignation or elitism, one is lost.
The problem here may be that of groups themselves. It is easy to vilify a group, it typically has no face, no eyes, no feelings. It is a thing. It is a thing that is often created to represent something that another group holds up as bad, counter cultural, or sinful, depending on one's perspective. That group, they say, is a threat to the future of our group because they.....!
Jesus did not minister to groups. He spoke to and showed love to individuals who came to him in faith. He did not require their membership in his group, but He did tell them what membership required of them as individuals. Many found those requirements too difficult and moved on. Likewise, St. Paul's greatest accomplishment was not to try and bring individuals into an established group, but to show people that, yes even they, who were not born into a specific group- even they were able to receive the grace of God through the sacrifice of Jesus.
Groups serve their purpose, certainly, but when it gets right down to it, I want to know what being in the group means to the individual. Can we talk without feeling threatened, can we listen and understand why this or that is so important? Can we have a discussion over dinner and a glass of wine? Can we share fun stories of our children, our companions, our lives, and find things that we share as people who stand in God's love, and go away friends rather than enemies? Can we exist without fear that my way is steamroller coming down the ideological highway to crush your beliefs and vice versa? We all have such a small space and such a limited time to share on this earth. Is it really God's will that we do so in such a fractious, fearsome manner?
God's message is love, Jesus' message is healing, reconciliation. How can this not be a good thing? How can clinging to fear of anything be better than this?
The problem here may be that of groups themselves. It is easy to vilify a group, it typically has no face, no eyes, no feelings. It is a thing. It is a thing that is often created to represent something that another group holds up as bad, counter cultural, or sinful, depending on one's perspective. That group, they say, is a threat to the future of our group because they.....!
Jesus did not minister to groups. He spoke to and showed love to individuals who came to him in faith. He did not require their membership in his group, but He did tell them what membership required of them as individuals. Many found those requirements too difficult and moved on. Likewise, St. Paul's greatest accomplishment was not to try and bring individuals into an established group, but to show people that, yes even they, who were not born into a specific group- even they were able to receive the grace of God through the sacrifice of Jesus.
Groups serve their purpose, certainly, but when it gets right down to it, I want to know what being in the group means to the individual. Can we talk without feeling threatened, can we listen and understand why this or that is so important? Can we have a discussion over dinner and a glass of wine? Can we share fun stories of our children, our companions, our lives, and find things that we share as people who stand in God's love, and go away friends rather than enemies? Can we exist without fear that my way is steamroller coming down the ideological highway to crush your beliefs and vice versa? We all have such a small space and such a limited time to share on this earth. Is it really God's will that we do so in such a fractious, fearsome manner?
God's message is love, Jesus' message is healing, reconciliation. How can this not be a good thing? How can clinging to fear of anything be better than this?
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
"It ain't me babe, no, no, no..."
The words have a familiar ring. To wit, my daily friend, Oswald Chambers, "God puts us where we will best be able to Glorify Him, and it is not left to us to judge where that is." And if we do try to judge, cue the music once more, we might sing "...it ain't me you're looking for babe".
No one ever called by God has jumped at the chance to serve in the way He has decided. Nearly all of the heavy hitters in Judeo-Christian faith history had their excuses: "you must be kidding, you must be thinking of someone else...I can't speak well...I'm lame...I'm not educated...I am not a member of that society..." Of course, everyone knows the example of Jonah, the man who ran away to hide himself from God.
I have run from God for years, hiding in misguided career paths, relationships, idleness, and duplicity. I've spent a great deal of time celebrating when there was nothing to celebrate, looking for things I already had and asking for help when none was needed. All of this was an attempt to escape, to hide from a reality so blatantly evident, that looking at it burned my eyes like the light from a welding rod. I hid behind self invented missconceptions, bigotries and arrogance, putting myself in the position of the intellectual, a gnostic elitist. But like the character Jonah, I could not escape the Furies, and I definitely lived in the belly of the leviathan. More than once.
It is true that one is always free to choose one's path. As long as one is willing to accept the consequences of the choice, it seems that everything is OK. This is easy for those with little to no conscience, outcomes mean nothing to them, hurt doesn't exist. Or does it? I believe we all have a conscience, we all know in our hearts that God is there, somewhere. It is the denial of that one thing that makes a wrong path become a road to emptiness. Then, all that's left is looking back and feeling that one's time here really didn't matter. There is nothing more depressing than believing in a wasted life.
God always wanted me to know, that only when I can come to the realization that it is His will and not mine, the running stops. The confusion ends. The hurting goes away. Only when I give up the quest for something outside of my own soul do I find the missing piece. Only when I quit asking do I get the answer. My path has always been set, I have been too fearful to walk it. Now I no longer seek. Now I must do.
No one ever called by God has jumped at the chance to serve in the way He has decided. Nearly all of the heavy hitters in Judeo-Christian faith history had their excuses: "you must be kidding, you must be thinking of someone else...I can't speak well...I'm lame...I'm not educated...I am not a member of that society..." Of course, everyone knows the example of Jonah, the man who ran away to hide himself from God.
I have run from God for years, hiding in misguided career paths, relationships, idleness, and duplicity. I've spent a great deal of time celebrating when there was nothing to celebrate, looking for things I already had and asking for help when none was needed. All of this was an attempt to escape, to hide from a reality so blatantly evident, that looking at it burned my eyes like the light from a welding rod. I hid behind self invented missconceptions, bigotries and arrogance, putting myself in the position of the intellectual, a gnostic elitist. But like the character Jonah, I could not escape the Furies, and I definitely lived in the belly of the leviathan. More than once.
It is true that one is always free to choose one's path. As long as one is willing to accept the consequences of the choice, it seems that everything is OK. This is easy for those with little to no conscience, outcomes mean nothing to them, hurt doesn't exist. Or does it? I believe we all have a conscience, we all know in our hearts that God is there, somewhere. It is the denial of that one thing that makes a wrong path become a road to emptiness. Then, all that's left is looking back and feeling that one's time here really didn't matter. There is nothing more depressing than believing in a wasted life.
God always wanted me to know, that only when I can come to the realization that it is His will and not mine, the running stops. The confusion ends. The hurting goes away. Only when I give up the quest for something outside of my own soul do I find the missing piece. Only when I quit asking do I get the answer. My path has always been set, I have been too fearful to walk it. Now I no longer seek. Now I must do.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Is there not one among them?
An ancient psalmist wrote:
"Help me LORD, for there is no godly one left;
the faithful have vanished from among us.
Everyone speaks falsely with his neighbor;
with a smooth tongue they speak from a double heart.
O LORD, watch over us
and save us from this generation for ever.
The wicked prowl on every side,
and that which is worthless is highly prized by everyone."
Sounds as if this could be a post in the comments section of a modern blog.
If it sounds familiar, if it seems that the psalmist was a prophet, there is good reason for it. People haven't really changed, as a whole, and it doesn't seem like they will anytime soon. Some will say this is due to the battle waging between the cosmic forces, good waiting patiently to triumph over evil when some future cataclysmic event happens. Some see it as evidence that people are simply idiots, and must be herded and overseen by the wise who get their wisdom from...I'm not certain.
Highly prizing what is worthless seems to be the national pastime in our culture, how else does one explain American Idol, The Bachelor and (fill in the blank with any of thousands of modern necessities). I'm not an entertainment basher, but the time, money and energy invested in such silliness is amazing. Obviously, people want these things. Dittos with football, basketball, etc. , all except baseball, which is, of course, necessary. And that is the point, we all have something.
Some will also say that it is up to us to change this, that it is our duty to seek out others and convert them to our way of thinking, yes, if everyone would accept (fill in another blank), or if Jesus would simply come on back, or if we could just eliminate those cretins who are ruining everything- then we would be OK. We would have peace. Right. The other side of the coin is that if all the good people capitulate to the bad people out of love and kindness by extending their neck to the enemy's chopping block while telling them about peace on earth, only the bad would prevail.
Is there no answer to this evil other than total annihilation of creation?
Although we live in an age where truth holds little value (has it ever?), where sound bites set social and political policy, where baseless accusations are thrown out just to obfuscate the real evil lurking around the corner, we are not treading new ground. As humanity goes, we've seen it all before and we will see it all again. The Utopians have sought ways to cure these problems, but even they always get stuck on the question of rules and who imposes them.
It is my humble and wacky opinion that things are just the way God intended them to be, and God never intended for anything to be easy, clear, or risk free. I can only know good if I have experienced bad, I can only know peace if I have also known turmoil. I can only know myself I've had my very being called into question. In those times, it is God who waits at the bottom of the pit. It is God who says, try again, this time with courage, this time with a little more faith.
I will never convert the terrorist in Afghanistan, but I can tolerate my neighbor. I can accept that no one else thinks exactly as I do, and that with enough conversation, enough listening and enough love (where God catches me in that pit), we can be brothers, at least for a time. It has to begin somewhere. Christianity began at the foot of the cross. The same place we all begin.
"Help me LORD, for there is no godly one left;
the faithful have vanished from among us.
Everyone speaks falsely with his neighbor;
with a smooth tongue they speak from a double heart.
O LORD, watch over us
and save us from this generation for ever.
The wicked prowl on every side,
and that which is worthless is highly prized by everyone."
Sounds as if this could be a post in the comments section of a modern blog.
If it sounds familiar, if it seems that the psalmist was a prophet, there is good reason for it. People haven't really changed, as a whole, and it doesn't seem like they will anytime soon. Some will say this is due to the battle waging between the cosmic forces, good waiting patiently to triumph over evil when some future cataclysmic event happens. Some see it as evidence that people are simply idiots, and must be herded and overseen by the wise who get their wisdom from...I'm not certain.
Highly prizing what is worthless seems to be the national pastime in our culture, how else does one explain American Idol, The Bachelor and (fill in the blank with any of thousands of modern necessities). I'm not an entertainment basher, but the time, money and energy invested in such silliness is amazing. Obviously, people want these things. Dittos with football, basketball, etc. , all except baseball, which is, of course, necessary. And that is the point, we all have something.
Some will also say that it is up to us to change this, that it is our duty to seek out others and convert them to our way of thinking, yes, if everyone would accept (fill in another blank), or if Jesus would simply come on back, or if we could just eliminate those cretins who are ruining everything- then we would be OK. We would have peace. Right. The other side of the coin is that if all the good people capitulate to the bad people out of love and kindness by extending their neck to the enemy's chopping block while telling them about peace on earth, only the bad would prevail.
Is there no answer to this evil other than total annihilation of creation?
Although we live in an age where truth holds little value (has it ever?), where sound bites set social and political policy, where baseless accusations are thrown out just to obfuscate the real evil lurking around the corner, we are not treading new ground. As humanity goes, we've seen it all before and we will see it all again. The Utopians have sought ways to cure these problems, but even they always get stuck on the question of rules and who imposes them.
It is my humble and wacky opinion that things are just the way God intended them to be, and God never intended for anything to be easy, clear, or risk free. I can only know good if I have experienced bad, I can only know peace if I have also known turmoil. I can only know myself I've had my very being called into question. In those times, it is God who waits at the bottom of the pit. It is God who says, try again, this time with courage, this time with a little more faith.
I will never convert the terrorist in Afghanistan, but I can tolerate my neighbor. I can accept that no one else thinks exactly as I do, and that with enough conversation, enough listening and enough love (where God catches me in that pit), we can be brothers, at least for a time. It has to begin somewhere. Christianity began at the foot of the cross. The same place we all begin.
Friday, July 31, 2009
The end of the illusion
One of my favorite spiritual authors, Oswald Chambers, says that in disillusionment, we find God. This seems a little off base at first, but after a second and maybe third glance, one can see that it is right on the money.
How much disappointment, hurt, and fear have I experienced when someone I trusted "let me down"? The point is, why did I ever elevate someone to the point of putting my trust in them to begin with? I have always had this very human problem- look for and believe in the good in every person, trust in them and expect them to come through because that is the right thing. There are many things wrong with this plan, and I have suffered for trying to stick to it.
First, is it wrong to look for the best in everyone? No, I don't believe that. Jesus didn't believe that, he knew that there is a little piece of God in all of us. The problem comes in believing that people will be motivated by that little bit of God in them in every situation. After all, I haven't done it, why should I expect others to consistently succeed where I have failed? We are, after all, people. Thus comes heartache.
The second problem in my plan is hanging on to expectation. Expectations are so often destroyed that I try to avoid them whenever I can. How can I expect anyone or anything to be exactly as I wish it? What do I really control in this world outside of my own thoughts and emotions? In a world where the only certainty is that things are uncertain, expectations become nothing more than wasted energy leading to frustration and disillusionment. What then? Where does one go when all has failed? Cynicism? Anger? Revolt?
The last and most important thing wrong with my plan, is that I have trusted first in people to be God-like, without first trusting in God. Elevating anyone to the level of providing anything beyond what is humanly capable is placing trust where it doesn't belong. The ultimate disillusionment in believing that "the world" will provide (fill in the blank) leads to the realization that only God can fill this role, and, only after excluding everything from the picture other than God. Every thought, every need, every desire begins in the present moment, when the thought of whatever that is first appears. God lives in that moment. Placing that thought before God first, and knowing he is there, is enlightenment, and that is the perfect outcome of disillusionment.
How much disappointment, hurt, and fear have I experienced when someone I trusted "let me down"? The point is, why did I ever elevate someone to the point of putting my trust in them to begin with? I have always had this very human problem- look for and believe in the good in every person, trust in them and expect them to come through because that is the right thing. There are many things wrong with this plan, and I have suffered for trying to stick to it.
First, is it wrong to look for the best in everyone? No, I don't believe that. Jesus didn't believe that, he knew that there is a little piece of God in all of us. The problem comes in believing that people will be motivated by that little bit of God in them in every situation. After all, I haven't done it, why should I expect others to consistently succeed where I have failed? We are, after all, people. Thus comes heartache.
The second problem in my plan is hanging on to expectation. Expectations are so often destroyed that I try to avoid them whenever I can. How can I expect anyone or anything to be exactly as I wish it? What do I really control in this world outside of my own thoughts and emotions? In a world where the only certainty is that things are uncertain, expectations become nothing more than wasted energy leading to frustration and disillusionment. What then? Where does one go when all has failed? Cynicism? Anger? Revolt?
The last and most important thing wrong with my plan, is that I have trusted first in people to be God-like, without first trusting in God. Elevating anyone to the level of providing anything beyond what is humanly capable is placing trust where it doesn't belong. The ultimate disillusionment in believing that "the world" will provide (fill in the blank) leads to the realization that only God can fill this role, and, only after excluding everything from the picture other than God. Every thought, every need, every desire begins in the present moment, when the thought of whatever that is first appears. God lives in that moment. Placing that thought before God first, and knowing he is there, is enlightenment, and that is the perfect outcome of disillusionment.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Where does the time go...
Here we are again in July, the summer begins and tries to catch up with the heat that has already caused us to melt and shrivel like so many plants thirsting for water. Now, perhaps, the afternoon rains will come and cool things down a bit as the earth begins its laborious wobble back to that place where the sun is not directly above, and the winds from north bring relief.
This weekend's news was startling on so many fronts- political, sports, world events, as it seems to be from day to day now, as it always has been. The most startling and disturbing for me, one of those that leaves me empty and looking for meaning, a local thirteen year old acquaintance of my son, killed in an accident involving an all terrain vehicle. The news barely sinks in before the whys begin to come forth from all directions. But no matter the answers, if they are answered at all, the end result remains, a child, a blossoming flower, is plucked before it fully blooms and someones hopes and dreams, someones heart ache, someones first crush, someones little girl, is dead.
So we may turn to God and ask how can this happen? It is easy, on such occasions, to look to the sky, shake one's fist and demand to know the answer that we ourselves can not give. Oh, we can explain dangerous activities, unsafe conditions, mechanical failure, etc, but only God can, we suppose, answer the most painful of questions. But God is silent. And the questioner walks away, angry, humiliated, perhaps even no longer believing in the existence of this careless thing once followed in better times.
God, the Divine, the omniscient, the all powerful, the creator- does care about these things. Cares, because we are all part of his "fabric", we are part of the soul of time, of light, of God. In the most troubling times, the most confusing, there is always healing. We may not understand why things like this happen, but there is always an opportunity for healing in these events, an opportunity to look beyond what we want, what we expect and try to see how God is shaping those of us still taking up space here in the now. The answer lies there.
This weekend's news was startling on so many fronts- political, sports, world events, as it seems to be from day to day now, as it always has been. The most startling and disturbing for me, one of those that leaves me empty and looking for meaning, a local thirteen year old acquaintance of my son, killed in an accident involving an all terrain vehicle. The news barely sinks in before the whys begin to come forth from all directions. But no matter the answers, if they are answered at all, the end result remains, a child, a blossoming flower, is plucked before it fully blooms and someones hopes and dreams, someones heart ache, someones first crush, someones little girl, is dead.
So we may turn to God and ask how can this happen? It is easy, on such occasions, to look to the sky, shake one's fist and demand to know the answer that we ourselves can not give. Oh, we can explain dangerous activities, unsafe conditions, mechanical failure, etc, but only God can, we suppose, answer the most painful of questions. But God is silent. And the questioner walks away, angry, humiliated, perhaps even no longer believing in the existence of this careless thing once followed in better times.
God, the Divine, the omniscient, the all powerful, the creator- does care about these things. Cares, because we are all part of his "fabric", we are part of the soul of time, of light, of God. In the most troubling times, the most confusing, there is always healing. We may not understand why things like this happen, but there is always an opportunity for healing in these events, an opportunity to look beyond what we want, what we expect and try to see how God is shaping those of us still taking up space here in the now. The answer lies there.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Taking a step back
A realization this morning, again, that truly living into the word is not an everyday journey, but more like an every hour, every minute journey. Impossible? Well, yes. That is why it can only be approached through faith and surrender to the Spirit.
At a particular point in time, I can become irritated with others to the point of distraction, wanting things to be just so, just as I would have them. In this irritation I feel dark, lonely, defeated, and it doesn't take long to begin to feel sorry for myself, in the sense that no one understands me or appreciates me or even cares about what I think. As it has been my entire life, I think, I am worthless and this just proves it. What a painful cycle! There is no God in that, only darkness that, left unaddressed, will cause more darkness to fester, ending in the evaporation of hope, a life wasted out of fear to live it.
Then, it occurs to me as the Spirit speaks, gently and calmly, that the things which irritate me the most in other people, are the very things I despise most about myself. When I see those things manifest themselves in the behaviour of others, I immediately feel compelled to fix those things in them, which is an effort destined to fail before it even begins. If I haven't repaired my own weakness, how can I even think that I am going to repair that same perceived fault in someone else?
It is then that I have to pray for forgiveness. And, I pray for the humility to be more understanding, first of my own need to strengthen my faith through surrender of my own faults, and then to be accepting of the others in whom God resides, even though I may not be able to see it right away or at all through the veil of my own ego.
In this Holy Week, I celebrate the ultimate humility demonstrated by God himself, and try to remember that only through losing oneself does one find the new life. Only through the pain of the cross can there be the joy of life.
At a particular point in time, I can become irritated with others to the point of distraction, wanting things to be just so, just as I would have them. In this irritation I feel dark, lonely, defeated, and it doesn't take long to begin to feel sorry for myself, in the sense that no one understands me or appreciates me or even cares about what I think. As it has been my entire life, I think, I am worthless and this just proves it. What a painful cycle! There is no God in that, only darkness that, left unaddressed, will cause more darkness to fester, ending in the evaporation of hope, a life wasted out of fear to live it.
Then, it occurs to me as the Spirit speaks, gently and calmly, that the things which irritate me the most in other people, are the very things I despise most about myself. When I see those things manifest themselves in the behaviour of others, I immediately feel compelled to fix those things in them, which is an effort destined to fail before it even begins. If I haven't repaired my own weakness, how can I even think that I am going to repair that same perceived fault in someone else?
It is then that I have to pray for forgiveness. And, I pray for the humility to be more understanding, first of my own need to strengthen my faith through surrender of my own faults, and then to be accepting of the others in whom God resides, even though I may not be able to see it right away or at all through the veil of my own ego.
In this Holy Week, I celebrate the ultimate humility demonstrated by God himself, and try to remember that only through losing oneself does one find the new life. Only through the pain of the cross can there be the joy of life.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Back again
After a little absence, back again. A job, finally, thanks be to God, has been keeping me busy and the new year with all its beginnings and changes pre-occupying my feeble mind.
With the new job comes a commute that lasts about an hour each way to and from work. There is time to do a lot of listening and thinking during those hours and I mostly occupy that time with audio books of one kind or another. However, on my way home one day, I was listening to a talk show and the topic was the faith of the Founding Fathers and their belief that the nation would survive as long as people believed in and had faith in the existence of God. Evidence of this is found through out our founding documents and other writings of the time, and though not all of those men professed Christianity itself, they all seemed to regard a higher power, the God of nature.
A woman called in, said she was an atheist and said (I paraphrase) such references were anachronistic in our time, that humanity,well, at least civilized humanity, had evolved beyond such mystical and superstitious beliefs and God was no longer a concept that held meaning. I turned off the radio and did not listen to what ensued, but played those comments over in my mind to see what arose.
The primary thing was this, that if we have no basis in God, then what? Not to say that this is God's only purpose, to underlie our founding documents, but in times of decision, turmoil and transition, to what (or whose) moral code do we turn? To what place do we run to fill the spiritual void that exists at one time or another in each of us? To whom do we turn, what authority do we seek for matters of our existence and how we should manage our time here with and among other people? Do the answers to these things not come from God? Interesting to turn over in one's mind while driving through rush hour traffic.
The woman's positions were certainly not novel nor are my questions. But this is where the faith question really hits the pavement. If I, believing in God are an anachronism, then so be it. It is there that I will go and there I will find the peace to sort out this 21st century world. Let the atheist have their atheism, which is itself a belief and a choice, I have no quarrel with nor any motivation to change them. I would only hope that if we who wish to believe in fairytale still do so, that they will be so inclined to allow us our space as well. After all, is it so harmful or shameful to love, forgive and even tolerate?
With the new job comes a commute that lasts about an hour each way to and from work. There is time to do a lot of listening and thinking during those hours and I mostly occupy that time with audio books of one kind or another. However, on my way home one day, I was listening to a talk show and the topic was the faith of the Founding Fathers and their belief that the nation would survive as long as people believed in and had faith in the existence of God. Evidence of this is found through out our founding documents and other writings of the time, and though not all of those men professed Christianity itself, they all seemed to regard a higher power, the God of nature.
A woman called in, said she was an atheist and said (I paraphrase) such references were anachronistic in our time, that humanity,well, at least civilized humanity, had evolved beyond such mystical and superstitious beliefs and God was no longer a concept that held meaning. I turned off the radio and did not listen to what ensued, but played those comments over in my mind to see what arose.
The primary thing was this, that if we have no basis in God, then what? Not to say that this is God's only purpose, to underlie our founding documents, but in times of decision, turmoil and transition, to what (or whose) moral code do we turn? To what place do we run to fill the spiritual void that exists at one time or another in each of us? To whom do we turn, what authority do we seek for matters of our existence and how we should manage our time here with and among other people? Do the answers to these things not come from God? Interesting to turn over in one's mind while driving through rush hour traffic.
The woman's positions were certainly not novel nor are my questions. But this is where the faith question really hits the pavement. If I, believing in God are an anachronism, then so be it. It is there that I will go and there I will find the peace to sort out this 21st century world. Let the atheist have their atheism, which is itself a belief and a choice, I have no quarrel with nor any motivation to change them. I would only hope that if we who wish to believe in fairytale still do so, that they will be so inclined to allow us our space as well. After all, is it so harmful or shameful to love, forgive and even tolerate?
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