The end of the illusion

One of my favorite spiritual authors, Oswald Chambers, says that in disillusionment, we find God. This seems a little off base at first, but after a second and maybe third glance, one can see that it is right on the money.

How much disappointment, hurt, and fear have I experienced when someone I trusted "let me down"? The point is, why did I ever elevate someone to the point of putting my trust in them to begin with? I have always had this very human problem- look for and believe in the good in every person, trust in them and expect them to come through because that is the right thing. There are many things wrong with this plan, and I have suffered for trying to stick to it.

First, is it wrong to look for the best in everyone? No, I don't believe that. Jesus didn't believe that, he knew that there is a little piece of God in all of us. The problem comes in believing that people will be motivated by that little bit of God in them in every situation. After all, I haven't done it, why should I expect others to consistently succeed where I have failed? We are, after all, people. Thus comes heartache.

The second problem in my plan is hanging on to expectation. Expectations are so often destroyed that I try to avoid them whenever I can. How can I expect anyone or anything to be exactly as I wish it? What do I really control in this world outside of my own thoughts and emotions? In a world where the only certainty is that things are uncertain, expectations become nothing more than wasted energy leading to frustration and disillusionment. What then? Where does one go when all has failed? Cynicism? Anger? Revolt?

The last and most important thing wrong with my plan, is that I have trusted first in people to be God-like, without first trusting in God. Elevating anyone to the level of providing anything beyond what is humanly capable is placing trust where it doesn't belong. The ultimate disillusionment in believing that "the world" will provide (fill in the blank) leads to the realization that only God can fill this role, and, only after excluding everything from the picture other than God. Every thought, every need, every desire begins in the present moment, when the thought of whatever that is first appears. God lives in that moment. Placing that thought before God first, and knowing he is there, is enlightenment, and that is the perfect outcome of disillusionment.