Back around the beginning of winter, I lost my job. The reasons aren't really relevant for this page, but in about 15 minutes every bit of security, future planning, retirement, health security, prestige, everything I built my temporal life on at that moment was pulled away, leaving me with nothing but my will to continue and my faith.
This is a place I have never been before. In 30 plus years of work, I have never been terminated. The shock of this was incredible, and the temptation to panic has been lurking out there lake a shadow in the dark of a terrifying dream. But what of it in terms of my life and my faith?
I have been fortunate to have moral support from friends and family members. It becomes a real litmus test of sorts in that area, the "real" people are there in many ways. But they can only do so much. Like everything in life it always comes down to me and what I am doing right now. It also comes down to the way I think God works in my life and the purpose of his relationship to me, what is it really there for? Why does God exist for me?
Everything that I do now raises my consciousness on this question, everything I read and see has a message. Every relationship has meaning that I may not have seen before, and most importantly, the way I see myself is evolving. God is real, the power of the Holy Spirit is real.
Things have not been going well in the job search, as a matter of fact, it isn't really going at all. Experience counts to employers, but maybe not 32 years worth. My age is a problem in this respect, and I know that. But a job is not the only way to make it in this world. I am seeing that too. Yesterday I saw this, "I called on the LORD in my distress, the LORD answered by setting me free," Psalm 118, 5. I am free.
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