Every now and again, my mind gets tired, and my thoughts spin out of control like a stack of papers in a whirl-wind. So many things so often, can one escape the news of the world these days? And what are we to make of it when everything that happens in the world is immediately descended upon by experts who explain to us what they think this or that means. The wind twists and turns, the papers fly and the trees bow. What do I hold on to?
The journey of life takes one to so many interesting and beautiful places, that nailing down something as simple as an identity can be tricky. The "is this really me" thing can become like a person in a department store fitting room. Hmmm. Too tight, to loose, too old fashioned, too new, too young, too brown, too red. Its easy to hang it all on a rack and walk out into the world in the same old clothes we wore in, forgetting that at some point, we had to choose those too.
I struggled with this identity question for many years . I felt that Christianity was my foundation, after all, I was born this way, baptized into the body, and had been a member, sometimes even dues paying. But the question remained, where is my foundation, where is the most fundamental source of my strength? Especially in times of uncertainty, which, as everyone knows, come along about every day. There were many things to hold on to, to be sure, but there was still that lingering question, what is the real source of all this?
God showed me something recently. Not something literally as a picture, but something in my heart that shuddered through my entire being. It's all about redemption. That's it. That is the foundation. It is not about me or my wants, my fears, my social blindness or excesses. It's about redemption. Jesus, the man, dying a very real death, and each and every one of us given a chance for new life. The life that we all so very desperately seek. The life promised by so many creeds, cultures, religions, cults, what ever, the life of freedom, peace, and joy. The life of being God's own. It is truly here. A lot has to be pulled away in order to see it, a lot has to be learned and then unlearned to know it. But it is there.
That is the foundation. Without it, a swirling mess in a tempest. With it, the ability to be. And now that I can be, I will finally be able to live.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Another year over, and a new one...
A new year is on its way. Time does fly, and it is true what people say, the older you get, the faster it flies.
I haven't written much here in 2010, and I regret that. The year was one of confusion and uncertainty. I reached depths that I never thought I would see in some aspects of my life, and learned lessons that were far too late in coming. Writing during that time would have been beneficial no doubt, but in the end I made it through with God's help.
So, no more looking back. Jesus said, that if we put our hands to the plow and continue to look back, we're not fit to move forward into God's kingdom. One may interpret this passage many ways, but for me it means that there should be only one goal in mind once the Holy Spirit has spoken in our lives. Anything else just clouds the picture.
Thus, my resolution for the new year, don't look back. Move forward and walk in light. God knows where I am headed, as the Psalm says, I will commit my path to the Lord and live in the land and feed on its riches. What more is there to do really?
Happy New Year!
I haven't written much here in 2010, and I regret that. The year was one of confusion and uncertainty. I reached depths that I never thought I would see in some aspects of my life, and learned lessons that were far too late in coming. Writing during that time would have been beneficial no doubt, but in the end I made it through with God's help.
So, no more looking back. Jesus said, that if we put our hands to the plow and continue to look back, we're not fit to move forward into God's kingdom. One may interpret this passage many ways, but for me it means that there should be only one goal in mind once the Holy Spirit has spoken in our lives. Anything else just clouds the picture.
Thus, my resolution for the new year, don't look back. Move forward and walk in light. God knows where I am headed, as the Psalm says, I will commit my path to the Lord and live in the land and feed on its riches. What more is there to do really?
Happy New Year!
Friday, September 3, 2010
Who's side are you on?
There is so much talk these days about identity. Who am I? What is my group? What is my affiliation, were do my roots reach? This isn’t something that I’ve spent a lot of time fretting about, I am a country boy from south Alabama, after all.
However, in our world, affiliation appears to be very important. It isn’t a new thing, people have always chosen sides or aligned themselves based on race, tribe, regional identity, etc. Many people have made themselves very powerful propagating the idea that like needs to be with like. Germany in the early Twentieth Century comes to mind. Of course, one mustn’t forget the Romans, the Greeks, the Jews, the Arabs, the Persians. In Africa, the rape and destruction of fighting tribes still makes the news. Here in the South, where I grew up at the end of the segregation era, memories of whites only facilities and the lie of separate but equal still stir in my memory. All of this for what?
It is my opinion that where there is segregation and animosity, there is no God. Yes, religious differences do account for a lot of violence and destruction over time, but this is the work of desperate, fearing people.
This, asinine factionalism in politics? My theory is better than your theory? Yeah, and my Dad can buy me a better bike than yours. Please. There is no good end in that, it always boils down to who gets to control and receive the money.
I used to be a devotee of talk radio, listening every day, even to the point of hungrily scanning the radio dial for my favorite programs when on the road. That is until one day I found a broadcast emanating from the “other side”. After listening for awhile, I realized that, with very few exceptions, the vitriolic verbiage I was hearing on that program was almost exactly the same as what I heard on my favorite programs. Substitute a couple of nouns and adjectives, and everything else was the same. I realized that this was nothing more than third grade level grandstanding by both sides- accusations, ad hominem presumption, nothing that served any purpose other than keeping both sides angry at one another, which of course leads to ratings, which in turn leads to huge salaries for the talking heads. Where ever we are on the political or denominational spectrum, we are all being played like dime wax whistles. I vowed then and there that I will never listen again.
The realization also came that, as spiritual people, we have to move beyond this silliness. As a professing Christian, I can’t be part of this. Jesus instructed me to love my neighbor. Who is my neighbor? He answered that too. (Look it up if you don’t know.) If our goal, along with every other religion is not to bring all people together in God, then God is not in the plan. If our goal is not to able to exist together on this small planet , then what have millions of years taught us?
Being the one who refuses to cross the line drawn on the playground sand is not the one who is weak. That person is the one who knows him/her self and knows that God is greater than anything we can argue, maim or kill over.
However, in our world, affiliation appears to be very important. It isn’t a new thing, people have always chosen sides or aligned themselves based on race, tribe, regional identity, etc. Many people have made themselves very powerful propagating the idea that like needs to be with like. Germany in the early Twentieth Century comes to mind. Of course, one mustn’t forget the Romans, the Greeks, the Jews, the Arabs, the Persians. In Africa, the rape and destruction of fighting tribes still makes the news. Here in the South, where I grew up at the end of the segregation era, memories of whites only facilities and the lie of separate but equal still stir in my memory. All of this for what?
It is my opinion that where there is segregation and animosity, there is no God. Yes, religious differences do account for a lot of violence and destruction over time, but this is the work of desperate, fearing people.
This, asinine factionalism in politics? My theory is better than your theory? Yeah, and my Dad can buy me a better bike than yours. Please. There is no good end in that, it always boils down to who gets to control and receive the money.
I used to be a devotee of talk radio, listening every day, even to the point of hungrily scanning the radio dial for my favorite programs when on the road. That is until one day I found a broadcast emanating from the “other side”. After listening for awhile, I realized that, with very few exceptions, the vitriolic verbiage I was hearing on that program was almost exactly the same as what I heard on my favorite programs. Substitute a couple of nouns and adjectives, and everything else was the same. I realized that this was nothing more than third grade level grandstanding by both sides- accusations, ad hominem presumption, nothing that served any purpose other than keeping both sides angry at one another, which of course leads to ratings, which in turn leads to huge salaries for the talking heads. Where ever we are on the political or denominational spectrum, we are all being played like dime wax whistles. I vowed then and there that I will never listen again.
The realization also came that, as spiritual people, we have to move beyond this silliness. As a professing Christian, I can’t be part of this. Jesus instructed me to love my neighbor. Who is my neighbor? He answered that too. (Look it up if you don’t know.) If our goal, along with every other religion is not to bring all people together in God, then God is not in the plan. If our goal is not to able to exist together on this small planet , then what have millions of years taught us?
Being the one who refuses to cross the line drawn on the playground sand is not the one who is weak. That person is the one who knows him/her self and knows that God is greater than anything we can argue, maim or kill over.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
It's relationships, stupid.
A catch phrase from some past political campaign was designed to remind everyone of the most important concept to push: "It's the economy, stupid". The imagined response is "Oh yeah, that." I felt this way last Sunday, Palm Sunday to be exact, when our priest presented his sermon on the relationship between Jesus and the Apostle Peter, and how Peter denied him on the eve of the Passion. Somewhere in the back of my mind I heard that, "It's relationships, stupid", followed by my own, "Oh yeah, that."
If I imagine that the events of that night never actually took place and if I were to suppose that someone made this story up just to make a point, I couldn't imagine a more clever thinker and story teller. In this one episode, the relationship between Peter and Jesus portrays everything we need to know about Jesus and his ministry, everything we need to know about what God wants from us. Even though we tell God, perhaps as frequently as daily, that we believe in Him, love Him and are willing to serve Him, we can hear or maybe even feel the words of Jesus in the Garden, "..before the rooster crows three times you will deny me." And we do. Consistently.
I believe very strongly that sin is not defined by activities or words. Sin is defined by how our own selfish motivations damage our realtionship with God. Sin is me being out of phase with my God Nature, with the Holy Spirit in me. The words and actions which follow are a symptom of the failed realtionship. It is then that I am doing damage to myself and to the people I profess to love, and through the law of unintended consequences, even people I don't know. Jesus knew that Peter was out of phase that night and he knew he would be back. Peter had to have his moment to see that he was not the master of his destiny, and that only by fully surrendering his powerful desire to the love of Jesus could he get that realtionship back. He did.
The two greatest commandments according to Jesus were to be in relationship with God and our fellow humans. How simple is that? The only requirement, I have to give my self away in order to do it. That is the difficult part. How many of our "unique" societal problems today would be solved if we could all live this? "Hah!", comes the response, "that will NEVER happen!" OK. It never will as long we believe it will not. At least there is a chance.
If I imagine that the events of that night never actually took place and if I were to suppose that someone made this story up just to make a point, I couldn't imagine a more clever thinker and story teller. In this one episode, the relationship between Peter and Jesus portrays everything we need to know about Jesus and his ministry, everything we need to know about what God wants from us. Even though we tell God, perhaps as frequently as daily, that we believe in Him, love Him and are willing to serve Him, we can hear or maybe even feel the words of Jesus in the Garden, "..before the rooster crows three times you will deny me." And we do. Consistently.
I believe very strongly that sin is not defined by activities or words. Sin is defined by how our own selfish motivations damage our realtionship with God. Sin is me being out of phase with my God Nature, with the Holy Spirit in me. The words and actions which follow are a symptom of the failed realtionship. It is then that I am doing damage to myself and to the people I profess to love, and through the law of unintended consequences, even people I don't know. Jesus knew that Peter was out of phase that night and he knew he would be back. Peter had to have his moment to see that he was not the master of his destiny, and that only by fully surrendering his powerful desire to the love of Jesus could he get that realtionship back. He did.
The two greatest commandments according to Jesus were to be in relationship with God and our fellow humans. How simple is that? The only requirement, I have to give my self away in order to do it. That is the difficult part. How many of our "unique" societal problems today would be solved if we could all live this? "Hah!", comes the response, "that will NEVER happen!" OK. It never will as long we believe it will not. At least there is a chance.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Peace
We are living in times that could become violent in a moment's notice. Political, religious, social systems- all are under stress. And why? We have reached another great period of turning. It is no accident.
This year we are 500 years out from Martin Luther's posting of the 95 Thesis which sparked the reformation movement in Europe. The movement impacted not only the Roman Church, but every aspect of life in the culture of that time, including soical systems and politics. The culture changed, radicals arose from every corner, people died in the name of what was "right".
Fundamental change never takes place without severe, radical activity of some kind. The activity usually involves a violent reaction in the physical world, and also in the world of people. Enemies will go so far as causing violence and blaming it on their foes in order to stir more violence and create chaos. Liars thrive on chaos, deflection and accusation.
Jesus caused fear in his time by upsetting a well established hiearchy and by encouraging people to see beyond the status quo. He was too radical for the powerful, came too close to upsetting their deal. His weapons were love, forgiveness and redemption. His motto was inclusion, his method was healing. His mission was truth, the thing liars fear most. And, like most people who shine light in the dark corners of corruption, he was killed for it. But, as we believe, the tables were turned in his case. His resurrection showed that even the ultimate human contrived punishment, the intentional taking of one's life, can not stop the power of God.
As Christians, it should make no difference to us who is in control, what government we have or what amount of tax we pay in this time and place. Our Saviour told us plainly, these things are of the world and gaining the world is not our goal. If we live in God, we live for him, not for political gain, control over people, or possessions. And, as Jesus said and as the Psalmist sings, those who make these things their God have already received their reward.
I believe we are all about to be challenged. Those who resist change are going to be put in the place of the scapegoat, the obstructionists, the people who are not willing give to the good of the order. As a people, if one may indeed call something as diverse as Christianity a people, we should be used to this. And, if we stick to the teachings of the Bible, we are easy targets. They, the liars, know this. And they will use this to their advantage. Our reaction will determine the future of more than the current attempt to change an already corrupt and feeble culture. Like Luther's list of complaints, it will reach far beyond anything we can imagine.
It is time to be awake, time to look for the bridegroom in the early hours of the morning, and most importantly, time be at peace.
This year we are 500 years out from Martin Luther's posting of the 95 Thesis which sparked the reformation movement in Europe. The movement impacted not only the Roman Church, but every aspect of life in the culture of that time, including soical systems and politics. The culture changed, radicals arose from every corner, people died in the name of what was "right".
Fundamental change never takes place without severe, radical activity of some kind. The activity usually involves a violent reaction in the physical world, and also in the world of people. Enemies will go so far as causing violence and blaming it on their foes in order to stir more violence and create chaos. Liars thrive on chaos, deflection and accusation.
Jesus caused fear in his time by upsetting a well established hiearchy and by encouraging people to see beyond the status quo. He was too radical for the powerful, came too close to upsetting their deal. His weapons were love, forgiveness and redemption. His motto was inclusion, his method was healing. His mission was truth, the thing liars fear most. And, like most people who shine light in the dark corners of corruption, he was killed for it. But, as we believe, the tables were turned in his case. His resurrection showed that even the ultimate human contrived punishment, the intentional taking of one's life, can not stop the power of God.
As Christians, it should make no difference to us who is in control, what government we have or what amount of tax we pay in this time and place. Our Saviour told us plainly, these things are of the world and gaining the world is not our goal. If we live in God, we live for him, not for political gain, control over people, or possessions. And, as Jesus said and as the Psalmist sings, those who make these things their God have already received their reward.
I believe we are all about to be challenged. Those who resist change are going to be put in the place of the scapegoat, the obstructionists, the people who are not willing give to the good of the order. As a people, if one may indeed call something as diverse as Christianity a people, we should be used to this. And, if we stick to the teachings of the Bible, we are easy targets. They, the liars, know this. And they will use this to their advantage. Our reaction will determine the future of more than the current attempt to change an already corrupt and feeble culture. Like Luther's list of complaints, it will reach far beyond anything we can imagine.
It is time to be awake, time to look for the bridegroom in the early hours of the morning, and most importantly, time be at peace.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Remain spiritually tenacious
"If our hopes are being disappointed just now, it means that they are being purified. There is nothing noble the human mind has ever hoped for or dreamed of that will not be fulfilled. One of the greatest strains in life is the strain of waiting for God. " From Oswald Chambers, "My utmost for His highest". His point for today, we must remain "spiritually tenacious" while we wait.
As Lent begins, I find myself once again, waiting. Waiting for something to happen to propel me in the direction I need to go. Something to carry me through the ups and downs of the economy, the fickle job market, the political uncertainties. I've asked, if not demanded that God help, to fix the problem, even. Then I wait.
Yesterday at the Eucharist for the First Sunday in Lent, and again later in the day at the closing service for a Cursillo, I heard the message repeated- Lent is a time for reflection, at time to face the question, who am I, really? To examine whether or not I could ever have a fraction of the spiritual tenacity demonstrated by Jesus when he faced temptation in the desert.
Then I think again about the lessons I've learned in this life and the fact that I am where I am because I drove the car that delivered me to this spot. I drove it, filled it with gas, kept the tires inflated, changed the oil- I did every thing I could to keep it moving and personally chose the roads upon which it traveled. Now it crashes and I ask God to fix it?
God is doing that. God is showing me that I drove the car into the ditch and that only I can pull it out. Then I have a choice. Continue down the same road, or chose another. Or better yet, to allow him to drive.
I am waiting, but I know that while I wait for the driver, there are plenty of things I need to do for myself. So in the meantime, I will be busy doing just that.
As Lent begins, I find myself once again, waiting. Waiting for something to happen to propel me in the direction I need to go. Something to carry me through the ups and downs of the economy, the fickle job market, the political uncertainties. I've asked, if not demanded that God help, to fix the problem, even. Then I wait.
Yesterday at the Eucharist for the First Sunday in Lent, and again later in the day at the closing service for a Cursillo, I heard the message repeated- Lent is a time for reflection, at time to face the question, who am I, really? To examine whether or not I could ever have a fraction of the spiritual tenacity demonstrated by Jesus when he faced temptation in the desert.
Then I think again about the lessons I've learned in this life and the fact that I am where I am because I drove the car that delivered me to this spot. I drove it, filled it with gas, kept the tires inflated, changed the oil- I did every thing I could to keep it moving and personally chose the roads upon which it traveled. Now it crashes and I ask God to fix it?
God is doing that. God is showing me that I drove the car into the ditch and that only I can pull it out. Then I have a choice. Continue down the same road, or chose another. Or better yet, to allow him to drive.
I am waiting, but I know that while I wait for the driver, there are plenty of things I need to do for myself. So in the meantime, I will be busy doing just that.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
What do we Christians really do?
A column appeared this week in the New York Times by Nicholas Kristof on the subject of religious oppression of women. Of course, a topic such as this is always a sure fire way to get a good argument going, and judging from the comments on the article at the Times website, a great forum for the people who love to get their hate on for religion to bring out their sledgehammers. There is apparently, a lot of anger and resentment toward organized religion out there, a lot of it likely justified. But there is also a lot of misconception, in my humble opinion.
Leaving the specific issue of the oppression of women to another day, the most common theme of the commenter's was that religion is nothing more than control of the individual through behaviour modification, most notably, the double barreled guilt of sin and threat of damnation (of the eternal type). I grew up in such a culture, so I have empathy for those who's experiences (or who's information about religion comes from people who had such experiences) put them in this place. There is no denial that such ideologies are out there, in every religious format. But this is not what religion in general and Christianity in particular are about and were never meant to be about. In my opinion, of course.
Now, before anyone starts feeling the need to run to their Bibles and proof text me into oblivion, I'll say from the beginning that I don't care what you quote or how well you argue your point that religion is most certainly about damnation for those who choose to ignore the rules. Such are hopeless arguments leading to hopelessness for all mankind, unless of course, one removes hypocrisy from the definition of sin. When will people learn that the easiest thing in the world is to find a line of scripture that will put almost anyone, anywhere on a rocket sled to hell? That is not religion, that is ego based self justification.
I can speak about Christianity because I am a Christian. It is my Christian belief that my religion is not about control, but about freedom. This freedom comes from God and the offer of grace to each of us, individually, and that Grace gives each person the knowledge that life is a remarkable gift, a thing to be savored and relished.
Freedom also comes in the knowing that to have this life, one must surrender one's life to the will of God. The conscious self must give way to the inner, spiritual self, thus opening itself to the love of God, it is then that the wonder of the world opens to all who will see, all who will hear. So simple, yet so difficult.
I know, the idea of surrendering to the will of anything is antithetical to human nature. It's actually frightening. But, I have found, that living outside the will of God is no life at all, just a foggy illusion of one. Even worse, surrendering to the will of social circumstances, substance abuse, materialism- to the point where these things actually do control one's life, this is better?
Of course, if one chooses not to surrender, to not find the inner self, then other things will naturally get in the way of that spiritual bliss. Things separate one from the love of God- not dry it up, or make it go away-it is always there- but separate one from it, the way a curtain separates a room. As St. Augustine and Miester Eckhart taught, if there is anything other than the love of God in one's heart, then one is not loving God, and there is room for failure.
"Things" are not just material in nature. Things are also thoughts, behaviors, fears. If one lives with fear in one's heart, then one is not loving God with all one's heart. There is room for fear to take over. There is less room for compassion. This is where things like oppression of women, bigotry, dissipation and violence come into play. There are religious people, who, in spite of their efforts, still live in a state of fear. I say, if someone is afraid of a person enough to look that person in the face and say "God does not love you, you have no place here", then that person is not loving God. That person is trying to be God. That is not religion, that is heresy.
As mere humans we can not know where God will go and not go, who God will love or not love. Whom God will accept or reject. Jesus taught many lessons about the futility of such presumption. But somehow we haven't caught on yet and people still judge based on fear, when we are all called to love.
Leaving the specific issue of the oppression of women to another day, the most common theme of the commenter's was that religion is nothing more than control of the individual through behaviour modification, most notably, the double barreled guilt of sin and threat of damnation (of the eternal type). I grew up in such a culture, so I have empathy for those who's experiences (or who's information about religion comes from people who had such experiences) put them in this place. There is no denial that such ideologies are out there, in every religious format. But this is not what religion in general and Christianity in particular are about and were never meant to be about. In my opinion, of course.
Now, before anyone starts feeling the need to run to their Bibles and proof text me into oblivion, I'll say from the beginning that I don't care what you quote or how well you argue your point that religion is most certainly about damnation for those who choose to ignore the rules. Such are hopeless arguments leading to hopelessness for all mankind, unless of course, one removes hypocrisy from the definition of sin. When will people learn that the easiest thing in the world is to find a line of scripture that will put almost anyone, anywhere on a rocket sled to hell? That is not religion, that is ego based self justification.
I can speak about Christianity because I am a Christian. It is my Christian belief that my religion is not about control, but about freedom. This freedom comes from God and the offer of grace to each of us, individually, and that Grace gives each person the knowledge that life is a remarkable gift, a thing to be savored and relished.
Freedom also comes in the knowing that to have this life, one must surrender one's life to the will of God. The conscious self must give way to the inner, spiritual self, thus opening itself to the love of God, it is then that the wonder of the world opens to all who will see, all who will hear. So simple, yet so difficult.
I know, the idea of surrendering to the will of anything is antithetical to human nature. It's actually frightening. But, I have found, that living outside the will of God is no life at all, just a foggy illusion of one. Even worse, surrendering to the will of social circumstances, substance abuse, materialism- to the point where these things actually do control one's life, this is better?
Of course, if one chooses not to surrender, to not find the inner self, then other things will naturally get in the way of that spiritual bliss. Things separate one from the love of God- not dry it up, or make it go away-it is always there- but separate one from it, the way a curtain separates a room. As St. Augustine and Miester Eckhart taught, if there is anything other than the love of God in one's heart, then one is not loving God, and there is room for failure.
"Things" are not just material in nature. Things are also thoughts, behaviors, fears. If one lives with fear in one's heart, then one is not loving God with all one's heart. There is room for fear to take over. There is less room for compassion. This is where things like oppression of women, bigotry, dissipation and violence come into play. There are religious people, who, in spite of their efforts, still live in a state of fear. I say, if someone is afraid of a person enough to look that person in the face and say "God does not love you, you have no place here", then that person is not loving God. That person is trying to be God. That is not religion, that is heresy.
As mere humans we can not know where God will go and not go, who God will love or not love. Whom God will accept or reject. Jesus taught many lessons about the futility of such presumption. But somehow we haven't caught on yet and people still judge based on fear, when we are all called to love.
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